It ended up turning to drink and loose women before closing for the final time in the lonely door way of a Harley Street optometrist. Santa was at the end of the bed, his black gloved hands on his knees, smiling the widest friendliest smile a little boy or girl could ever wish to see.
His beard was white and bushy made all that much whiter by the contrast of his black skin.
If they missed this, what on earth would they say to all the other eyes down the club next Tuesday.
They once knew an eye who’d nodded off just before the bit in Trading Places where Jamie Lee Curtis takes off that red top, the eye in question had never lived it down, never come to terms with it.
The voice was also immediately friendly, so friendly in fact that the d.j. “It really is Santa Clause.” Both Chris’ eyes now hastily opened themselves completely, all wide open, just like two goldfish bowls, more open than they’d ever been before, right there and then.
They weren’t gonna miss this for the world, no way man.
Twice he’d already been up for a wee, his bladder not what it used to be and once he’d been up to try to separate his tongue from the roof of his mouth, it was stuck there as a result of drinking some particularly nasty cheep dark port. He’d dreamt he was the fluff in Steve Wright’s belly button but it was yellow, not blue like everyone elses, and it insisted on only watching Q. As another dream began to begin, as things that begin to begin must, the d.j. secretly loved his doggie being on the bed, even if it did cause some confusion as to who was pack leader in the park the next day. ” He said to himself, “and what on earth’s that tune they’re humming?
He was deep into a sleep induced by far too much munch at the works Christmas dinner the night before. Then he dreamt that he’d come up with a new laughing feature, where he would laugh for as long as it took the stag to appear, the stag that would tow him on his skateboard through the wood not far from the Paris flat he shared with a man he’d never met, the hands of whom could often be seen doing the washing up, the rest of the body nowhere to be seen. “Enzo, my faithful hound, not on the bed, you’re not allowed, you know that, not ever since I caught you at it with that lady dog you met at the German embassy last semester. ” But the huge weight took no notice and besides the d.j.
As he began to begin drifting back off into the land of giant fluffy pink elephants sipping exotic cocktails on Worthing sea front, he heard a humming, a melodic resonant humming that made the sheets on his bed vibrate. ” He listened again, as was becoming all the rage nowadays.
Well if it wasn’t the theme tune to The Magnificent Seven, a little jollier and up beat than even the original, no mean feat, as the original is pretty bang on in the first place.
“Santa, wow, it’s so good to meet you, you know I always had a suspicion you were a black dude.” “Really, why was that?
” “I don’t know, it’s just that the world is full of people of all different colours and creeds, yet for some reason you’re always depicted as a white guy, I never got that.” “Well to be honest Chirstoff Lambie Pie, I’m whatever it takes, you see me how you want to see me and if you want to see me as a big happy black guy, that’s cool with me, I’m down with that man.” They both began laughing, Chris’ started to laugh like he’d never laughed before, Santa’s laugh was as loud as an earthquake, so much power, so much joy.