Boundaries are the key to success between your playmate and their ex.
If your lovey has created healthy boundaries and has good communication with their ex (or at least tried—not everyone’s ex is a picnic to get along with, which may be why they’re no longer together), I say full “steam ahead, cap’n!
If you’re the jealous type, you’ll need to learn to manage that.
Be aware of some red flags up front: ask your new sweetie if they ever had counseling after the divorce (because if not, expect resentments to survive years after the divorce and beyond), ask what the relationship is like with their ex (hatred and refusal to talk to their ex is no bueno, and it’s also not great if their ex is treated like their best friend with whom they discuss everything).
You have a lot in common with this person, they’re witty and entertaining, they’re sexy AF and you have a sneaking suspicion the sex is gonna be good. You know they have kids, but even though you aren’t really a kid person, nothing’s going to harsh your buzz when you’re drugged up on their awesomeness. Once upon a time, I began to date a man with two children.
He’s a great guy and such a good fit for me in many ways. I don’t want kids of my own, yet here I am, co-parenting at his side like a pro.
” No matter how much you might like your honey’s kids (and hey, let me be the first to say, it’s okay if you don’t really—affection can take time), always remember they already have two parents, and they’re not in the market for another one.
We make a beautiful family, and we love each other. Because while dating someone with kids can be amazing in so many ways, don’t ever think it’ll be easy. You wanted to get away for the weekend but you forgot it’s over Mother’s Day because, newsflash, you’re not a mom?
But don’t be misled: this is the most challenging thing I have ever done. You should know a few things before you flail carelessly into infatuation like that basejumper guy in the squirrel suit with that awesome song. A parent’s responsibility is to their kids first, always, and that will never change. Be aware your plans will always need to be flexible.
Perhaps you’ve got a demanding job/yoga schedule/pet and maybe your childfree adventures allow you to keep busy—you’re golden.
Your new love can—and should—always make time for you when they’re able to, but don’t take it personally when things with the kiddos come up, because it’s not about you.
Maybe you’re thinking, ‘Hey, it’s OK; he only has them every other weekend, so basically I can forget his ex exists.’ I want to hug you and pat your head.The ex will always be a part of your new love’s life, and their kids.’ You’ll always hear about them, the kids will talk about them, the kids may even look like the ex you so desperately want to forget ever existed.