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At which point you start to suffer from writer's droop. Well, just as it happens with sex, if you go into it with that attitude, you're not going to be able to transcend reality.

How are you going to encapsulate the earth-moving wonder, the erotic arousal and tender protectiveness of the longed-for moment? That's what sex is all about—written or experienced.

Literary Review's Bad Sex in Fiction Awards shortlist went live last week, reinvigorating the timeless debate about what makes good sex in literature.

“Writing about sex can be like a complicated game of Twister,” writes Sarah Duncan at The Guardian.

“You sit in front of your laptop, trying to work out where everything's going.” The sentiment is echoed by author Maeve Haran: “It's every writer's nightmare.

You've invested years of blood, sweat and, in my case, HB pencils in the British Library to construct your tale of deep passion and pent-up desire and now – at last – your central characters are edging towards the bedroom.

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