Rules dating over 30

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What if everyone who heard that line, or a similar one, just took it at face value?

The sentiment -- that someone's change in feelings has nothing to do with you, and is in fact completely out of your control -- is, in theory, pretty comforting.

Or maybe you're a little more reasonable and you actually do want things to work out with a guy -- but you think it would be helpful to have a list of to refer to. In fact, my idea for this post seemed so off-putting that I really wanted to get it right, so I started by polling my panel of sensitive-but-manly guy friends to get their lists of least attractive traits in a woman, and worked from that.

What follows is our collective wisdom distilled into a countdown of the top five least attractive traits in a woman: A friend and longtime reader just wrote because she's dating again and facing a dilemma. And when does he lose points for splitting the bill, or for letting you pay instead?

Tradition has it that the guy pays for the first date, but should you still offer to split the bill? In a recent e-mail, a reader complained to me that a guy had broken up with her using the "it's not you, it's me" line.

I've wanted to write this post for a long time, but it's been two weeks since I first sat down to write it and I've kept agonizing over it.

It's basically an offer to walk away without any self-doubt and quickly move on. Whether you're just checking out friends of friends on Facebook, lining up a date for the weekend on Ok Cupid, or looking for a future husband on Match.com, finding love online can get just as intense and confusing as the real thing.In this long-overdue post about online dating from the guy perspective, I'll list four simple rules to give you the best chance at finding love -- or whatever else you're looking for -- when you start online.

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