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There is a lot to be said for this minimalist option, not least cost; direct cremation costs £1,000, even the simplest funeral and cremation is upward of £3,000.Crucially, it also cancels at a stroke what my mother would call the “mawkish” nature of many funerals, particularly in church.Hatching, matching and dispatching: the church does it with flowers, music and gusto – but mostly the first two.

There is firstly the challenge of negotiating a giant picture of the departed, looking happy and beautiful, usually positioned as you walk into the church to the tune of a sad organ. Then there is a eulogy, sometimes (but not always) delivered by a person who has never known the ceremony’s subject.

Finally, the congregation must endure that grim parody of the entrance of the bride: the coffin being carried the other way down the aisle.


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