Start the discussion when stress levels are low, advises Lombardo. Try: "It would help me if you handle these three things each week without me asking." Also, adds Lombardo, point out what's in it for him: a happier, more energetic wife.Just know, however, that sometimes you will have to make requests if he forgets.She even jokingly suggested she increase his life insurance policy! Ask if that's the problem, and then research treatments for the ailments your mate fears the most," she suggests.She finally got him to change his ways with help from family—she and his parents together convinced him to get checked out. "The fact that there are ways to solve health problems could persuade him to go to the doctor."Then, make it clear to your hubby that you're picking this fight for his well-being, not because he'd look better if he lost a few pounds, for instance. When you bring this up, focus on how much you need, love and care about him and want him to stick around for the long haul. The fight: "Don't undermine my authority in front of the kids."It's tough to be taken seriously when your children witness Dad overruling one of your decisions.It could be as innocent as him giving your son a few extra minutes playing his video game (after you've told him to power down), but if done repeatedly, the kids will catch on.
"Energy spent on your phone is energy that's not being put into the relationship," says Alisa Bowman, author of Rather than roll your eyes when he whips out his cell, start a conversation.
Try: "If we're talking and you take a phone call, I feel like I don't matter to you," suggests Laurie Puhn, couples mediator and author of After that, come up with ground rules about disconnecting, whether it's during meals together or for an hour each night. If he slips up, which he will at first, Puhn recommends saying something like: "Was that text important, or did you just forget our new rule? " If your mate isn't following the guidelines at all, sit down and re-discuss what works for you, she says. Women put the burden on themselves and personalize things," says Lombardo.