The man typically brings gifts when visiting the family. Turner's book "Courtship in America", the author notes how courtship in Japan has changed in recent years.
In this custom, parents hired matchmakers who would gather photographs and resumes of potential partners.
When both parties agreed to a possible match, the couple would meet, typically with the families and the matchmaker present.
During the first few dates, the parents and matchmaker were extremely influential in determining whether the couple should marry.
Contemporary courtship in Japan is more subtle than dating in the United States.
The blossoming of a relationship from friendship to marriage can take years.The relationship begins as friendship, with dates taking place only in public places, typically with groups of friends present. The next stage is dating only as a couple, which is done discreetly.