Guide to dating the undead

Despite its unusual features, the mating market shares key features with other markets. In general, more competition on the other side of the market is good for you, because it improves your options and increases your bargaining power.

In the human-vampire dating market, some other attributes might also be involved; for instance, the human girl may offer a risk-free source of warm blood, while the vampire boy offers superior physical protection.

Most importantly, both sides hope to benefit from the trade.

As Nobel-winning economist Gary Becker observed in 1973, the situation is fundamentally competitive, as “Each person tries to find the best mate, subject to the restrictions imposed by market conditions.” Without monetary prices, transactions take the form of barter.

I’ll address my advice primarily to human girls seeking vampire boys, because that seems to be the most common case, and it avoids confusion over pronouns. All potential mates seek something of value, and they offer what they have in return.

But many of the lessons here apply to any relationship with the undead—and, perhaps, even to more traditional relationships. In that sense, a relationship is a special kind of exchange.

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