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By Dorothy Hayden, LCSW The New York Center for Sex and Love Addiction Treatment Sex addiction is not defined by the amount or type of sexual activity involved, but by the particular relationship the person has to compulsive sexual experiences.Anyone who has ever experienced an orgasm knows the tremendous power of sex.Those with sexual addiction, however, find little pleasure or gratification in doing anything else.The world is seen through a sexualized lens and the quest to duplicate the “rush” of sexual euphoria, over and over again, becomes an obsession.People with sex addiction use sex just as those addicted to drugs or alcohol use substances: as an anesthetizer that allows them to escape painful realities and as a way to regulate their moods whenever they feel stress or anxiety.As dependence on the behavior progresses, they typically experience emotional states that duplicate those of people addicted to substances.

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The incredible rush of sexual pleasure a person feels during orgasm is indeed intoxicating.However, a person who is not addicted to sex, no matter how much or how often he enjoys sex, can also have fun and find pleasure engaging in other relationships and activities.Words I hear from my patients are: loss of self-regard, despair, loneliness, frustration, guilt, anger, and self-hatred.I also hear my patients frequently rating their sexual behaviors as immoral, weird, disgusting actions that fill them with shame and self-contempt.

Intoxicated with the euphoria and rush of their own brain chemicals, particularly dopamine, their addiction is not really to sex, but rather to the intense state of sexual arousal (“the erotic haze”) that is an instant mood changer.

They achieve entry into the erotic haze through obsessive, highly ritualized sexual behavior.

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