Adam: If you would be the one for me, Brenda, with the golden lasso upon your scalp. Adam: I was the guy with all the boils on his face. Alison: We don't know this bearded man's thought process. Alison: But I am never going to come out and say it. Willie: Do you ever get the urge to just sit in a different pew?
Willie: I wanted a steed and you sold me a mare and maybe a mate for my soul. Sam: Can you have a missed connection for somebody that you want to incriminate? Willie: I'm just saying, if you're like trying to impress a penis doctor, like that takes some balls. Willie: These people find chicks in the weirdest places. Willie: I just have a picture of everyone in church is sitting, and this one dude, instead of looking forward is just like ... Maggie: Sometimes I think you can tell I wouldn't mind us being more than just church friends. Maggie: But I still wonder if you ever get the same urges and feelings.
Sam: You were very attractive and I'm just curious why you kept looking at us? Adam: And that, ladies and gentlemen, is Missouri's missed connections.
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These folks read some of Missouri’s weirdest, awkwardest, and most hilarious personal ads, and let’s just say it adds a whole new layer of meaning to “The Show-Me State.” Prepare to get personal with your funny bone. We're going to get into some dangerous adult territory here. Adam: He probably just wanted to help her carry her grocery bags.
Willie: And rhinestone chap upon your thin, leathery thighs. He could have just been like, "Hey, I have that sweater." Willie: Okay, so now the bearded man is wearing the same sweater as a 2-year-old girl.
Willie: I mean, if your wife already probably doesn't like it, this whole thing is probably going to go south.
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