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Very soon I learned that Dutch men are quite lazy when it comes to hitting on women.Blessed with our height (except me), we have neither the Italian flair nor the English stumbling dry charm, yet our success is decided by tough Dutch women. As we were busy getting in touch with our feminine side and baking cupcakes whilst doing a pedicure, the Dutch women have taken control and decided what’s what.It’s like an unwritten social code that has taken over the cliques. As much as the churches in the Netherlands have become museums for sporadic old people to get lost in and poop their pants, don’t think you can bring your agnostic self into the dating scene in Cape Town.Religion is a big part of the cultures, and be prepared to respect the bigger laws of belief.People from Durban and Joburg are considered extraterrestrial. Since your foreign clique will constantly change, you’ll have the disadvantage to be challenged by finding yourself a clique to secretly integrate into, yet you can order any cup of coffee and get away with it. And get yourself a nice car while you’re at it, and definitely don’t forget to shave your chest hair. Grow a beard, bring your vintage typewriter and order a craft beer at Yours Truly whilst listening to a band no one has ever heard of. Otherwise you can get in tune with your cultural interests, save up for lobola negotiations and prepare to bring out some appreciation for weekly changing hairstyles. Alternatively, you can become a huge fan of Liverpool and get yourself a pimped out VW Golf with led-rims. Once you hit thirty and haven’t married your best friend, it’s done.Whatever you do, always mention that you are, in some way, German. Compared to ‘single’ European cities like Amsterdam or Berlin, Cape Town is couple central. But what about that childhood friend you grew up with? You might as well get yourself a whole bunch of cats, curl up crying into the corner of your shower and sing ‘all by myself’ while staring sadly out of the window.Surely, the best place to meet people is to go out.It is kind of ironic to write about a subject that I have yet to succeed at.

Without losing too much of my masculinity, that is.

Coming here as a foreigner years ago, at age 23, I have spent my prime years in Cape Town.

And don’t expect anything fancy”), decide on the venue and even buy you your first beer. Once I see someone I like, my flirting tactics include awkward staring into the distance, constantly talking, ‘creepy smile’ or substantial neglect. Here are a few thing you should know about dating in Cape Town It’s very easy when you come into a coffee shop. As the city is still ‘young’ when it comes to multicultural integration, Capetonians prefer to stick to who they know.

All those years of splitting the bill have finally paid off, we must have thought. In order to succeed here in Cape Town, you need to bring a bit more than your A-game. My pick-up lines range from odd questions like “do you like ham? You are either going to order latte, cappuccino or black. Better said, Capetonians will form social cliques based on who they were born next to. Prepare to bulk up in the gym, nay, live there, and say things like ‘ya hey’, ‘okes’ and ‘awe bru’.

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Fine, they are no Angela Merkels yet, but they are outspoken enough to get any job done, and in no sense seem to need men in their life.

Supported by their firm ankles, and some unfortunately wearing white leggings (please stop), Dutch women will hit on the men, tell them what they want (“bring a friend, cut your hair, wear that red jersey. So far, the success rate has not been too significant.

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