Maybe a little more of an effort to talk on the phone to the person you are dating would be appreciated. Jackie Pilossoph is the author of the blog, Divorced Girl Smiling.She is also the author of the comedic novel, FREE GIFT WITH PURCHASEabout life after divorce. Pilossoph is a weekly business features reporter for the Pioneer Press, with the monthly column, "Heart of the North Shore." She lives in Chicago with her two kids.
But I have to be honest, there really was something that felt impersonal about dating someone and communicating only via electronic methods. HOW they say something, the way they laugh, or their passion on a certain topic is how you really get to know what's in their heart. It's a huge time saver, it's succinct, it can be really sexy.
On the other hand, there's nothing better than to get a phone call from your guy, hear that voice you adore, and reap the benefit of hearing the laugh that lights you up like a Christmas tree coming from the other end of the phone.
There are both benefits and negatives to both electronic communication and to spending time on the phone.
Gauging the others interest by how long it takes for them to call or text. A month later I finally just came out and asked her if I was crazy in thinking we had hit it off. The truth is, most of the time, when you withhold attention it makes the girl you're interested in think about you more.
I started to reflect on my pre-marital dating days, which date back to 1999 and earlier. I can remember times when I'd get home from work and check my home answering machine (there wasn't even voice mail in the earlier years! He had to think on the spot and answer questions in an open, honest way.), so excited to find out if my new man had left a message. A lot of divorced people have kids, so who is going to sit and talk to their new guy on the phone? But I have to say, part of me misses those long, meaningless conversations late at night, both sitting there not having anything to say but not wanting to get off the phone. In a real conversation, one that doesn't involve emoticons, like smiley faces, hearts and tear drops, and chat acronyms like LOL, 2NTE, H&K, or KOTL (kiss on the lips), men and women are so much more authentic.