that's part of the problem with my book.” The Washington Post followed up with a similar article in which a writer shares her story: I am a purity-culture success story: I am a heterosexual woman, a virgin until marriage, now with two small children and a husband I deeply love. This post received over 1,200 comments in less than a week. If I were to be honest, there were even a handful of men who helped me work through a lot of these topics. Just because we are ridding ourselves of the anxiety of waiting doesn’t mean that we give up all forms of God-honoring waiting for certain aspects of marriage. For those who were affected by the tidal wave of copies of books by authors who championed for waiting, what are we to do?In fact, Joshua Harris himself had something to say: “You’re a really good writer for being broken-hearted and killed…” – via twitter. Part 1: Introduction Part 2: For the Ladies Part 3: The Heart of a Woman Part 4: Man Up Part 5: Holding Out for a Hero Part 6: Friendationships Part 7: Porn. Apparently, even Josh Harris himself is leaning toward this direction. We need to begin in safe, vulnerable conversations. Kissing waiting goodbye has nothing to do with plunging past physical or sexual boundaries. Even Harris himself is asking to hear the conversation on his site, as he shares on his website that he has “heard a growing number of voices of people who have been hurt by [his books]." So where does this leave us? I don't think I Kissed Dating Goodby or books like it set out to do harm. But that doesn't mean those principles were always interpreted and applied helpfully. And I'm over the whole purity culture, I Kissed Dating Goodbye wait-or-date debate. I believe a pathway out of the tangled mess is possible, but it takes courage to start working through it. Equally, make sure there is a balance on all things related to ditching waiting.
Fear of the process, of the journey to maturity that friendship, relationships and dating can provide. Now, I am taking a step back from my younger self who read and anxiously let its principles guide me for too many years.
If I had hid my feelings, shame or fears from them—I wouldn’t be whole and healthy today. But taking calculated risks isn’t only about finding a soulmate—it’s about not waiting for dreams, goals, conversations overdue, volunteer opportunities, job changes, hopes and whatever else you are “waiting” on. I believe it is a mark of maturity to find out how to hold to those boundaries even in friendships or early stages of dating.