I don’t feel a rush of energy when I run into that old flame I used to sleep with at that party I wish I hadn’t attended. I want rousing introductions to the friends of the person I’m smitten with. I want spine-tingling cuddles and life-changing pillow talk and supernatural connections.
It’s fine that other folks are interested in never falling in love again, but in my opinion, that sounds fucking terrible. I want to spill all of my emotion, the bad and the good. I want to make memories that I will never fuck and forget. And I want this for however long our relationship lasts until it has to end and another great one begins. Inviting them into your existence and opening yourself up and revealing who you truly are is exhilarating. That is the kind of shit that makes me smile and cry and yell. I experience love intensely and that is what makes me great.
Romantic apathy sucks and it’s the main reason I’m over non-committed spooning. I want to feel everything and I want to feel it everywhere in my body. Sharing your life with someone even for a brief period of time is exhilarating. And then taking a nap in the middle of the day together ‘cause you’re comatosed from brunch and waking up and having afternoon sex until dinner time. That is the kind of shit that keeps me up at night.
I don’t like playing games which is why I don’t play them but that doesn’t stop others from playing them with me. I don’t like not meeting the friends of the person I’m smitten with. I don’t like not saying “I love you” when I for sure do. I want to laugh uncontrollably when I hear my paramour make a joke. None of those compare to walking to brunch with your love and sharing each other’s eggs. I care about everything I do and everyone I talk to. When you’re apathetic you miss out on the least boring parts of life and damn, does that sound boring.
I like flirting but I don’t like it when I have to turn it on every time I see the person I’ve been dating for months because if I don’t heavily flirt with them they might not know that I am still open to making coitus with their genitals. I don’t like having to fiercely compete for the attention of others. I want to be overwhelmed with glee when I receive a text. But distance doesn’t breed intimacy and it doesn’t make the heart grow fonder.
I have been on approximately one hundred “let’s get a beer” things (that may or may not be an exaggeration) (it definitely is). I’m over being ignored at parties hosted by folks I’m into and who are apparently into me. I’m over being fucked and “I think that you’re developing feelings for me and I am uncomfortable and need to run but can we fuck again? I’m no longer an advocate of the non-committed spooning FOR ME and I have several reasons for my dislike of this routine.
I’m over never-ending casual-ships where I have to pretend I’m a robot incapable of emoting.