― Anonymous Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that the narcissist is someone who has “buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.” This alternate persona to the real self often comes across as grandiose, “above others,” self-absorbed, and highly conceited.
In our highly individualistic and externally driven society, mild to severe forms of narcissism are not only pervasive but often encouraged.
” ― Anonymous In a big way, these external symbols become pivotal parts of the narcissist’s false identity, replacing the real and injured self. They expect others to cater (often instantly) to their needs, without being considerate in return. However, once they lose interest in you (most likely after they’ve gotten what they want, or became bored), they may drop you without a second thought. Thinking of oneself as a hero or heroine, a prince or princess, or one of a kind special person. Many narcissists enjoy spreading and arousing negative emotions to gain attention, feel powerful, and keep you insecure and off-balance.
A narcissist can be very engaging and sociable, as long as you’re fulfilling what she desires, and giving her all of your attention. Some narcissists have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing that others cannot live or survive without his or her magnificent contributions. They are easily upset at any real or perceived slights or inattentiveness.
On the other hand, narcissists are often quick to judge, criticize, ridicule, and blame you. By making you feel inferior, they boost their fragile ego, and feel better about themselves. Manipulation: Using Others as an Extension of Self.
How do you know when you’re dealing with a narcissist? The narcissist enjoys getting away with violating rules and social norms, such as cutting in line, chronic under-tipping, stealing office supplies, breaking multiple appointments, or disobeying traffic laws. Oversteps and uses others without consideration or sensitivity. In these situations, the narcissist uses people, objects, status, and/or accomplishments to represent the self, substituting for the perceived, inadequate “real” self.
The following are some telltale signs, excerpted from my book (click on title): “How to Successfully Handle Narcissists”. The narcissist loves to talk about him or herself, and doesn’t give you a chance to take part in a two-way conversation. These grandstanding “merit badges” are often exaggerated.