Dangers of dating a narcissist


For me, one of the best examples of narcissistic parents is illustrated in the movie “The Joy Luck Club,” based on the novel by Amy Tan.In the film, a woman flashes back and, through voiceover, tells her story of becoming a child protégée as a chess champion.” Most of us can relate, on some level, to scenes such as these – to ways our parents over-connected or lived through us, as a reflection of them.But when dealing with a narcissistic parent day in and day out throughout one’s childhood, the impact can be devastating.Humiliated by her mother’s narcissistic behavior, the little girl declares, “Why do you have to use me to show off?If you want to show off…then why don’t you learn to play chess?She supported it, because it gave the chance to feel like a winner, to bask in her child’s accomplishments and take credit for skills that were not her own.

This cutting remark shatters the girl’s confidence, and, as her mother predicted, she can no longer win. When her daughter insulted her own ego, the mother in the film no longer saw use for her the young girl’s talent.

Her voiceover concludes the story with, “This power I had, this belief in myself… She didn’t support her daughter playing chess, because it made her daughter feel good or gave her confidence.



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