I feel like I’m in high school for even writing this but I’m confused. Recently he told me that he wanted to be friends and was not ready for a relationship. I let him know that I wish it could have gone further but I respect the honesty and I’m ready for something serious. Yet, this is becoming a pattern for me in my dating life. In Toni’s story, she believes that this guy is INTENTIONALLY FUCKING WITH HER.
I stopped sleeping with him, limited my contact, and started dating other people. He wants my time on holidays, he’s popping up at my house if I don’t call him back right away, and gets mad when I enlist other men for help. In my version (and most likely, the guy’s version), he has NO IDEA what he wants from Toni.
And after three months, if he’s not all-in, then he’s OUT. Or he got so used to the status quo that, when she pulled away, he missed what they had. It’s best to cut him off entirely until he lets you know he definitely wants an exclusive relationship and actively shows it.
If you’re dating the once-a-week date/text guy for 6 weeks, you should probably cut him off. You choose men who want commitment and actively pursue it. You get over this notion that men are playing games with you. I probably in retrospect did the same back and forth as the guy in the post. As for the guy in the post, I’d say he just wanted a FWB situation and was disappointed when she didn’t keep sleeping with him.
Which means that men who are really interested in you will likely want to take you off the market in 2-6 weeks. I was caught between wanting to be with her and being annoyed with her.
Let’s start with a working definition: Playing games: intentionally manipulating someone to keep him/her guessing and off-balance. I can’t handle this.” Are these messages all over the map? Are they so inconsistent that any reasonable woman would feel highly confused? Men are normal human beings – not aliens from another planet sent here to systematically destroy you emotionally through mixed messages. So, to sum up: You’re not wrong to be upset with the status quo. Here are the ways that you could approach this in a healthier fashion: 1. An actual bear will grumble and say his paws are too big, or give any other excuse not to be seen in broad daylight as your official bearfriend.
(not nearly as much as you think, anyway) Now, pick your jaw up off the floor, press reset on the emotions bubbling up inside you and listen very closely to what I have to say. In other words, this isn’t that complex: You want to know why a guy is giving you mixed messages? His actions are the same: “I’m not sure what I want.