This fear caused them to seldom date and keep female relationships plutonic and confusing. Ask any Christian woman over the age of 22 how she feels about Christian men’s dating game and she’ll most likely confirm what I’m witnessing. In looking for “The One”, Christian men can easily get caught not asking women out AT ALL because she might not be “The One”. (Novel idea, I know.) The issue that many men run into, I know I did, is over spiritualizing the dating process. ” Praying about your dating life is of course advised, but there is such a thing as too much praying. Ask her out in person or over the phone (no texting).
Once there was a good Christian girl who dreamed of growing up, getting married, and having children.
She read all the right books and did all the right things.
All the guys in her church were apparently still waiting for the divine signal to initiate courtship (an idea that she had never really taken to), but there were dating websites, and there was the occasional colleague or friend of a friend.
I’m really proud of him for conveying such a tough message! Why are you hiding behind prayers, vague intentions, group hangouts, and TEXT MESSAGES? If you are clearly leading her on step up and ask her out, or stop leading her on.
She read about how she was a princess in God's sight and how he wanted the very best for her.
She committed herself to sexual purity, to high standards, and to waiting for the good Christian man that God was going to bring her.
I was talking with a group of Christian men the other day and was given astonishing insight into the current dating scene. I’ve found myself wondering how do I encourage my brothers to GET OUT THERE and date. Group hangouts are great, but find time for one on one where your intentions are clear.
As I sat down with them to talk about life, I found something concerning: none of them were asking women out. Some had text-based relationships, but most of them were fearful of “messing up” or “ending up with the wrong one”. I’ve heard from Christian women that they either have said no to dating altogether (because the Christian guys don’t do any asking) or go on dates with men who aren’t Christians (because at least they are asking). I, too, was more of a prayer than a dater, until I had a number of older men sit me down and tell me to stop being afraid and take a girl to coffee. Real Christian men are needed to step up in this area. ” “What if I don’t like her after we date for a few weeks? Dating 101: Start by finding a girl who you think is interesting and attractive.
But the knowing ones, the Christians who seemed to have all the answers, told her, "You're young, there's plenty of time, and you need to learn patience." So she concentrated on her education without worrying too much about men.
She graduated from college and found a good job, and then she started to look in earnest for the right man.
Her Sunday school teachers taught from a very popular book about how dating was unbiblical, and how a truly righteous young Christian man would initiate a courtship with marriage as the goal, working in tandem with the girl's father and the pastor and others in the church body.
The heroine of our story observed that as these things were being taught, the level of romantic involvement among her peers at church, not very high to begin with, shrank to practically nonexistent.