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It is my personal belief that most female cat owners below the age of 40 fall into the "not a cat girl, not yet a cat lady" category.2. An "I got home and told my cat about my day" bond.6. It's a stereotype, but definitely true for some women! She knows there are guys who are allergic to cats and other guys who are "allergic to cats," so if you're just "allergic to cats," she's onto you. If you like her cat, it's an instant gateway to her heart/soul/vagina.

On the bright side, if you do, she will learn early that you are a regulation schmuck and won't want you around her cat. Only instead of leaning on each other to survive the vast Alaskan wilderness, they're sitting on the couch together on Saturday night watching .5. Cats aren't "ungrateful" or "mean" just because they don't bolt up to you when you walk in the door and act all needy. But I can't tell you because we cat ladies all sign a nondisclosure agreement.

The reasons why I am thoroughly incompatible with male cat owners … My parents got me a stuffed animal, it was a dog, and Mandy was jealous. The only thing that overrides my canine preferences is if I feel like I have a spiritual connection to a dog. I was trying to be really open minded but it was a disaster.

Her name was Mandy, and she was a fluffy, white Bischon Frise. I made up a song for her whenever I would give her treats. Mandy and I only got into one fight in our years together. My dad decided to have her put down when I was a freshman in college. The truth is: I’m not ready to get attached to another animal — dog or cat. I prefer small to medium dogs with a high fluff to face ratio, but not those toy dogs or ones that look like mini ponies. I can smell the litter box even if you have it hidden away. After my third visit, the doctor asked if I had been sharing a pillow with a cat. The takeaway here is that forever in my psyche, pink eye-like symptoms, cat allergies and a boyfriend I need to dump are all rolled together into one neat pellet of associative discomfort. As if to reinforce my discomfort, a few years ago, I went on a series of dates with guys that all had cats.

his is, in most part, a response to Brian Donovan, the man who made confessions about being a male cat owner over at Thought Catalog. She usually slept with me and when she spotted the stuffed animal, she went into a jealous fit, refusing to make eye contact with me, refusing to lick my hand. I literally had to throw the stuffed animal in the garbage can before Mandy would acknowledge me again. This happens to me a lot, where I feel like the dog and I “get” each other. I am averse to having pet hair of any kind on my clothing. Chances are, if I can’t leave your apartment without looking like I rolled around in a pile of pet hair, I’m not going to want to frequent your place. The worst being the guy who told me that the only reason he would want a relationship is to have someone to watch TV with at the end of a long day. Sometimes (rarely, but SOMETIMES) I think cats are cute. My co-worker Julie has a very fat cat named Colonel Mustard and I kind of like him.

Let me start by saying, Brian, you sound like an incredibly kind and thoughtful guy. I am one of the girls you speak of, the kind who cocks her head sideways and looks at you as if you’ve just revealed that you were a fat kid (so was I! You’re right, I do see male cat ownership as a “preexisting condition.” One not conducive to me dating you. I don’t find you creepy or feminine (or, I’m sure I wouldn’t if we met in person). Then he followed that up with, “But that’s what my cat is for.” There were other terribly unsettling things he did, but I am focusing on cat ownership for now. Another one of the cat guys displayed affection to his cat way too soon in the relationship.

In the video above, The Pet Collective (aided by some Huff Post Comedy editors' expert cat knowledge) investigates how Hartmann tricked everyone into falling in love with the lady who just really loved cats.

First of all, define "cat lady." Does one cat = cat lady? Does joking about being a cat lady à la sparkling, outgoing multimillionaire Taylor Swift automatically make one a cat lady? Just remember that the bond between a girl and her cat is a special and unique bond. She may be a little more antisocial than other women you've dated. Cats just prize sleeping over most other activities, which is perfectly respectable.16.

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