To prepare for the talk, I attended at Thursday 10 p.m.Mass where about 75 committed Catholic undergrads served as a focus group: After I explained why I thought it was important for issues of sex and dating to be address within the Church, I asked students to put their anonymous questions on index cards.This past Sunday I gave a lecture on sex, dating and relationships at the Newman Center at the University of Iowa.As a professor here, I teach classes on the American family and introductory sociology courses, so I’ve heard a lot about the undergraduate hook-up culture.You can drink and have fun, certainly, but remain in control. Do you want to be popular with this person just for , or also when he or she is sober and making good decisions tomorrow and the next day?
” Think about what you want from a relationship: Mutual appreciation? This, to me, is one of the biggest problems with the hook-up culture: It skips over all the emotional relationship and trust building and jumps into a physical and very personal act without the emotional backup.My students aren’t sure what a hook-up really means, or how to find a lasting relationship when casual sex is the norm.So when the Newman Center invited me to speak to young adult Catholics on these issues, I jumped at the chance.So as last night rolled around I had dozens of excellent questions and possible topics to discuss.
In a nearly-packed room in the basement of the Newman Center (and with Daily Iowan reporters there taking notes and snapping my picture) we had 90 minutes of questions, answers and discussion.
If they say “let’s go home together now,” you can say you think they’re really great and you’d like to get to know then better—over coffee the next day.