We are looking for someone to be our gym buddy, career counselor, best friend, lover, creative inspiration, and therapist.
In short, the intimacy expectations of young people today are off the charts.
What is meant is that marriage should lead to a profound friendship of spirit, which will endure in the next world, where there is no sex, and no giving and taking in marriage; just the way we should establish with our parents, our children, our brothers and sisters and friends deep spiritual bond which will be ever-lasting, and not merely physical bonds of human relationship."It occurred to me that the soul mate concept may very well reflect a strong desire among people to experience the "profound friendship of spirit" mentioned in the above quote.
Careers are now something we have many of and the path to them is often murky, at best.
The new order of adulthood typical of this generation is to establish oneself in a career before getting married.
“I want to be sure” has become their Greek chorus and a way to go into marriage with all the right armor. The timeline to adulthood has been loosened, says Jeffrey Arnett, a research professor at Clark University who studies twenty-somethings.
Arnett points out that the concept of “emerging adults” didn’t even exist before Gen Ys, because in previous generations there was no transition into adulthood, you just became one.
The soul mate fetish has given way to lines like: “I want to be as excited to see him in 30 years as the day we first met.” According to the National Marriage Project at Rutgers University, an overwhelming majority (94 percent) of never-married singles between 20 to 29 agrees, “when you marry, you want your spouse to be your soul mate, first and foremost.” And that quest for “certainty” and that magic mix of qualities can take years of dating to uncover. The divorce culture, pioneered by the Baby Boomers, is shaping the dating landscape today.With the memories of custody battles, acrimonious dinner tables, and a general atmosphere of family unrest being a not-so-distant flicker in the past, Gen Ys are resolute about not repeating the mistakes their parents made, breeding a rigorous evaluation process for prospective mates.The zeitgeist today, however, is expressed through lines like: “I’m in no rush.Case in point: the hottest comic strip on the papers this year is Dustin, about an unmarried, unemployed 23-year-old who lives at home with his parents. The days of going to work for one company and retiring with a gold watch 40 years later are long gone.
For men in particular, this new order of events is causing an interference with mating—research has consistently shown that whether and when a man marries is closely tied to the adequacy and stability of his earnings. Before birth control, a good part of the impetus to get married was, quite simply, it was too risky to have sex outside of marriage.
As a male 28-year-old “A Little Bit Married” said: “If I had to be married to have sex, I would probably be married, as would every guy I know.” ("There is no teaching in the Bahá'í Faith that 'soul mates' exist.